Top 20 Drug Using Cartoon Suspects
1. Shaggy (From Scooby Doo)
By far the #1 suspect. His clothes, his hair, his bad goatee,
the boy converses with dogs. But all of this is nothing untill
you go to the Munchie Factor. Anybody who averages 9.3 dog treats
consumed per episode smokes pot, no ifs, ands, or, buts about it.
And look at the way him and his friends painted that van! Pretty
radical design dude.
2. Daffy Duck (From Warner Bros)
If he isn't using crack, Daffy Duck is clean. He is so wired
he bounces around on his head without pain. Blows his beak off
all the time. Some symptoms might be from "daffiness" but Donald Duck
wouldn't work for him.
3. Dopey Dwarf (From Snow White)
He openly admits it. The other dwarfs deny involvement, but they
are under investigation. Allegations are that Doc is writing
some extra scripts for Sneezy and all the guys partaking are
afloat.
4. Droopy (From Pet Detective)
The number one downer abuser in toon land. Can't someone slip
him an upper every year or two. The only time I ever saw him
happy is when he sees the picture of the babe.
5. & 6. Yogi and Boo Boo
We all know what is really in those picnic baskets. They go back
to the cave and trip.
7. He-Man
This is an easy one. I mean ca'mon. Drug Power #1. "BY THE POWER
OF STEROIDS!!!!!!" Alone in his castle, lifting weights. And on top of
that he even injects it in his pet tiger. Can we say "Animal Abuse"?
8. Mr Snaggleupperguss (From Seseame Street)
Can't explain it. Maybe it's the name, or the look, but he is suspicious.
9. Olive Oyl (From Popeye)
Probably Dexatrim abuse, maybe some amphetamines. Who is that
skinny?! She might even be anorexic, she is always giving her
burger to her friend.
10. Gargamel (From the Smurfs)
Most likely Ice. Spends his life in pursuit of little blue guys
in sissy white outfits and mentally abusing his cat. What does
he plan to do with the blue dwarfs when he catches them anyway?
11. She-Ra
Come on, any woman who is that buff is also poppin steroids. Besides,
her brother is her supplier, and any horse that can fly has got to be lift up
by something!
12. Hagar the Horrible (From She-Ra)
I picture Hagar out on the lawn smoking some serious opium from a
six-foot pipe. After all, he does rampage through all the medieval castles
stealing their stashes!
13. Calvin and Hobbes
This kid has found the paint and is inhaling for hours. Any kid that talks to
his tiger and gets tackled by it has got to be sniffing. Let's not forget all the
memorable scenes of when his food becomes monsterous and tries to kill
him. Psychadelic overload.
14. Stimpy(From Stimpy And Ren)
Haven't you wondered why this cat is so fat? Heavy case of the munchies.
He hides all of his poppy plants in his bags of Gritty Kitty Litter. The cat is so high that he feels no pain when being smacked by Ren.
15. Jon (From Garfield)
Let's face it, Jon has nothing better to do except suck the opium pipe and talk
to his pets. Every now and then he lets Odie take a hit or two.
16. Peanuts (From Charlie Brown)
Snoopy is just lit up on anything he can find. First, dogs don't sleep on their
backs, and second, a dog that DOES sleep on his back on a 90 degree pitch roof
has got to be stoned, because any coherent individual doesn't have the proper
equalibrium to perform this balancing act. His pop just drinks his life away,
it's Erimin and Upjohn for his beagle friend.
17. Tigger (From Winnie The Pooh)
There have been many accusations about Tigger, but I believe this behavior
is due to his ADDS (attention deficit disorder syndrome) and low tolerance of
cocaine. This feline needs the straws!
18. Rabbit (From Winnie The Pooh)
Everyone know what Rabbit does in his house. Besides, he is always upset
when people bother him. After all, he would be upset if people kept
interrupting him while his hash brownies were cooking. And those aren't
cooking spices he keeps, that is his dope supply, and those drums of so-called
"honey" are merely his liquid marijuana stashes.
19. The Joker (From Batman)
You would have to be tripping to wear clothes that psychadelic. After getting
beat up every day, he is still laughing. He can't even stop that h uge smile,
because he is so high. I think him and the Riddler have parties and smoke
out together.
20. Speedy Gonzales (From Warner Bros)
Yippa Yippa Needa Las Drugas!!! This guy has had way too much speed.
He's even named after it. Has this rat ever gotten tired?
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